How to Win Friends and Influence People
EUR 2,86
From Loser to Manager because of this book - I was a loser in my professional life. The only person who saw me as anything of worth was my wife. On our honey moon she gave me the book, How to win friends and influence people and said, You really need this book After reading that book and later I read, How to stop worrying and start living My life has been a success. My problem wasn t that I was stupid. I had great ideas but just didn t know how to sell them to other people. By using the principles from Carnegie I ve become a manager in my company, a well respected Scout Master, and a successful little league Baseball coach (Five years in a row my team was in the top 3 and twice number 1.) All this because I learned how to sell my point to other people with the book,How to win friends.
Positive Feedback Creates Positive Change! - In business, those who are the most emotionally intelligent always rise to the top. Why is that?As a management consultant, I am always asking our clients and potential clients what their major issues are. It almost always boils down to persuading someone else to change. In many situations, the person describes the situation as getting worse rather than better.As I ask more questions, I soon learn that the person I am talking to is totally thinking about the issue from her or his perspective, not the perspective of the person they want to influence. Carnegie describes a situation where he and his son couldn t get a calf into the barn. They pushed and pulled, and nothing worked. A maid came out, stuck her finger into the calf s mouth to simulate feeding and the calf followed her right into the barn.As you can tell from that example, Carnegie is a student of the stimulus-response school of human behavior. The book is divided into four sections: Handling People, Getting People to Like You, Getting People to Agree with You, and Being a Leader. Each section is comprised of a few principles, which are each exemplified in a short chapter with a number of examples. Handling people has to do with avoiding the negative and unpleasant, appreciating the other person, and making the other person eager to accomplish some goal of their own.Each section follows the same format. Basically, it s the same way that you train any living being. You provide positive feedback to the person which makes them feel better, the person responds positively to you making you feel better, you then help the other person to link what you want to share with them with something they want.Many people will be offended by this idea. I have long studied that reaction and find that it relates to one of two basic assumptions: (1) the decision to act should be based on the objective merits (if I deal with emotions, I am being manipulative) or (2) I want you to acknowledge that I am right, that you are wrong, and that I am superior to you because I am right. Both of those perspectives get in the way of establishing warm human relationships. If you would rather do things without emotion, your life will be very dull. If you would always like to be right, you will be very lonely (even if you really are right).Let s look at a more fundamental question. Can these techniques be used for questionable purposes? Probably, is my answer. However, at some point, the person s manipulative game will be found out. See Robert Cialdini s book, Influence, on what happens to smugglers of influence over time.The best results will come from those who have integrity and are principled. They and everyone else can see that they are pursuing something with another person that is in the best interests of that person, and that there are no hidden agendas. Here is where I think Carnegie is a little weak. You get the impression from the book that hidden agendas are okay. My experience is that all agendas should be totally upfront. Don t pretend you are trying to help someone, when all you are trying to do is sell them something they don t need. Do encourage them to get the information they need to make a good decision for themselves about your idea, product, or service. Leave the whole circumstance with a stronger, more trustworthy relationship than you started with. That s how I interpret the Dale Carnegie principles.If you really would like to get better results in your human relationships, this book is essential reading. To skip this book would be like skipping reading and arithmetic in grade school. It contains essential tools that everyone needs to understand. Since these things are seldom taught in schools, this is a good place to start.Modern gurus of human relationships and effectiveness like Stephen Covey and Tony Robbins have a substantial debt to Dale Carnegie. If you read all of them, you will tend to reinforce your new habits. I like the Covey and Robbins approaches as a complement to Carnegie, because both authors focus on having principles at the center of what you do. That will help reduce the risk of turning Carnegie into techniques that lead to suboptimal results, instead of a mutually reinforcing virtuous cycle for everyone.Researchers consistently show that success in many fields (such as business, politics, and teaching) is very closely related to one s social skills. Many people will work very hard to be more successful, but skimp on the relationship aspects. That s a mistake. Work on the relationships first.I also recommend Daniel Goleman s Working with Emotional Intelligence to understand these concepts and NLP Masterclass to help you extend these lessons with specific skills.Enjoy having easier interactions with others, having more friends, being more influential on important subjects, being more open to being influenced by others, and leading where it needs doing!After you finish reading this book, think about where you are trying to pull a calf where you want the calf to go.
Zeitlose Wahrheiten - wo ist das Executive Summary? - Dieses Buch enthält eine ganze menge Sachen, die eigentlich jedem von uns klar sein sollten - nur haben wir eben (im Gegensatz zu Dale Carnegie) nie richtig darüber nachgedacht... Das Ding ist heute noch genauso relevant wie damals, wenn auch die 1001 Geschichten zum Thema wie motiviere ich meine Fließbandarbeiter etwas aus der Zeit sind. Aber dafür mutiert man bei der Lektüre dieses Buches zum Bewunderer von Franklin Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln und anderen berühmte Köpfen von anno dazumal. Einziger Wehrmutstropfen - Das Buch ist zu lang, man hat nach 1 Seite jedes Kapitels eigentlich verstanden was Dale uns sagen will. Trotzdem lesenswert!
Somewhat ahead of its time - I guess if Dale Carnegie was writing today, he would be quite a star author, since the subject which he helped to develop has become one of the most popular of all those to be found on bookshop shelves. How surprising is it then, to consider that Carnegie had such tremendous success in an epoch where a great many people would have had difficulty just coming to terms with his ideas, let alone embracing them. It seems simplistic to say that most of Carnegie s text is just plain common sense: it certainly is that. His prose is also delivered in an unequivocal fashion, but with humour. He knows what he s talking about, and he knows probably, that you or me or the next guy is going to be sceptical anyway. So he just tells it like he sees it and hopes the reader will catch the vision. Since he really hasn t got a hobbyhorse to ride, we do catch the drift (at least the millions of copies sold suggest that we do). I believe if you read this book and don t have a thoroughly enjoyable time (as you straighten out a lot of your own thinking), then it will only be because you need to come back to it in two or perhaps five years time. In addition to the above, let me say that Carnegie is also a fine writer, which helps.
Throw away all the other management books... - Because you dont need them anymore. This book really works. As a new supervisor, it was my responsibility to transfer a difficult employee to another section. I used the tips in this book and made it sound like a GREAT OPPORTUNITY and it turned out that she couldnt wait to leave! Even if you are not in management, read this book. It makes alot of sense, and the principles are based on common sense. D. Carnegie calls on the wisdom of great historical figures to proves his points.